I used to pester my mother to tell me more about my father, but soon I gave up. I realized that there were things that she would never tell. Maybe they were just too painful for her. I could not spend my life fretting, and we both had more practical concerns of running the farm to busy our lives.
When I was free, one of my favorite places to was Marlay’s Woods which lay to the north of our village. There were rumors of it being haunted, but I never minded that. To those peering in, it looked dark and shadowy, but to me it felt peaceful, as if the trees had fallen into a pleasant rest. It was a forgotten, ancient place where lofty trees stretched their limbs high into the sky. I talked to them sometimes. It wasn’t like there was anyone else around. Most people thought that the forest was haunted. I felt like the trees were my protectors, as if nothing in the world could hurt me.
I used to spy on the village girls, but soon an end was put to that, and something new began. They fascinated me with the way the giggled and chatted, the way they looked so trim and perfect. I could hardly believe that I was even remotely the same as them.
It all ended the day Silva Doren, May Doren’s daughter saw me. Silva Doren, was a girl with a mass of blonde curls, huge, vulnerable eyes, and rosebud lips that pouted perfectly. She was also a bully, and an actress who could act sufficiently well for her purpose.
I was standing in the shadows, when she saw me. She ran over to me, pulling by the collar of my dark blue dress. She hauled me over till I was standing in the middle of the group of girls. She was still holding me closely, so that we were almost nose to nose.
‘’ What are you doing, spyin’ on us like that?’’ she asked, her vulnerable eyes gleaming maliciously. I could feel her spit and hot breath on my cheeks as she spoke. ‘’ You gonna cast a spell on us? You’re a witch, or at least half of one!’’
With that she threw me back, and I stumbled. Some of the girls twittered nervously but that was all. ‘’ Go away, and never come back spawn of Pierrick!’’ she called out, as I made a coward’s retreat.
Suddenly I came back and faced her. ‘’ Don’t. You. Ever. Insult. My. Father.’’ I said. Now, when anyone talked about my father behind my back I regarded them as the scum of the earth, and as such did deserve an answer, but a direct insult was different. I knew that defending my father was the only thing that mattered at that moment, even if I wasn’t sure who he was.
I lifted my fist, and with that fist I swung the force of all my frustrations and questions right into Silvia’s porcelain fine face. A red spot appeared right in the middle of her nose. The red was dripping down. She was bleeding.
There. I’ve done it. That was exactly what I thought at that moment and I was not ashamed of it. I was not the evil spawn. I was not the villain of a play leering triumphantly. I felt as though I had written on a page, as though I had completed, or finished something. But of course there would be the aftermath.
Unfortunately for me, May Doren was near by.
‘’ Mamma!’’ Sylvia wailed loudly, pointing a finger at me. Her eyes were opened wider than I thought possible. She looked so frightened that I almost believed her for a moment. ‘’That girl,’’ she began, ‘’That girl came and-and attacked me!’’ Silvia burst out into loud sobbing noises. But I saw no tears. I saw her as she was more clearly than most people did. Silvia was injured, but she was not attacked.
May ran over to Silvia and coddled her ‘’ poor little darling’’ then faced me, her arms crossed. ‘’ Don’t you dare hurt my dear Silvia again, Cass Arcwood!’’ she said. I turned away, and did not answer. I knew that it would be useless to explain what her ‘’ precious sweeting’’ was really like, so I didn’t try, even though I knew the tale she was going tell. I ran straight to Marlay’s Wood.
The forest felt calm and peaceful as it always did, but I felt tangled up, as if I was going out in too many directions. Everything seemed wrong about me, starting with my name. My real name was Cassandra, but no one called me that. In my mind, Cassandra was a person completely distinct and different from me. Cassandra was a
royal lady with perfect posture, who walked elegantly in silken gowns, fluttered a fan in front of her face, fainted habitually, and was as breakable as a butterfly. I was not Cassandra. I was Cass.
I felt empty, and shaky inside, like I wanted to cry. But I didn’t. That seemed weak. So I yelled. I yelled all the way to the trees, not at them, mind you, but to them. I addressed them as a group, not singling out anyone particular.
‘’Know why I like you?’’ I shouted. ‘’ I like you because you are. You’re okay with me being here in your forest, and you listen a whole lot better than most people do!’’ I stomped around for a bit, then sat down, sighing.
At first the woods seemed silent but then I heard the crunch of branches under feet. I saw a boy. It was definitely Tom Hayworth. He was a bony, gangly little creature with curly brown hair, freckles, and dark brown eyes. At that point all I knew about him was that he was one out of ten brothers and sisters. Since I lived with just my mother, it seemed incredible that anyone’s family should be so huge.
I approached him cautiously.
‘’ You come here?’’ I asked.
‘’ Sometimes.’’ he said. ‘’ It can get . . noisy, at home, I mean.’’
‘’ I guess you don’t mind the tales either.’’
He laughed.
‘’Nah, I don’t mind them.’’
He stepped away a few paces.
‘’Why were you yelling at the trees?’’
‘’ You know I am, don’t you?’’
‘’ You’re Cass Arcwood.’’
‘’ That’s right. Will you listen?’’
‘’ I can listen.’’
‘’ Okay. Let’s sit down. How about under this one here.’’ I said going over to my favorite trees.
And for some strange reason I proceeded to tell Tom Hayworth the entire story about me, and Silvia.
He was quiet for some time, then said. ‘’ That was good. It was good that you hit her, I mean. I know what she’s like. You proved that you’re tougher. She won’t forget that.’’
I smiled. Somehow, Tom’s words made me feel better, than any softer words might have done.
Tom looked around. ‘’ This is a big wood. I haven’t ever been in it with anyone else before. There’s lots of places some one could hide. I bet you know this wood better than I do. Here, I’ll counted to ten and you hide.’’
I felt full of sunshine as I raced around looking for the perfect hiding spot. Eventually he found me but that was just the beginning of our games. We were going to meet again. I was honestly surprised that he liked me.
‘’ You’re okay with me?’’ I asked at the end of our time together.
‘’ Yeah, I’m okay with you.’’ he replied.
That day I gained a friend, and my first big secret, for it was unspoken knowledge between both of us, that no one else must know of our friendship.