*Okay, so a pre-note for you all so you know what to expect. Phillip-haters, you will be VERY mad, I suppose. Phillip lovers you will either be pleased or indifferent. :) But I'm not saying more than that, okay!? That way you now HAVE to read it because it's driving you insane. This whole note it. You're just ITCHING to read the following and then get really mad or happy and argue with me.......and comment, comment, comment! Haha! XD But seriously though, thanks for those who read this! You rock!!! 

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Chapter Six:

            Sometimes, I wanted nothing more than to wish myself into oblivion. I would live my life as a speck of dust in the wind happily. No burdens or worries. I could be so carefree. My memory would surely be cleaned of pain. But such was not to happen. Such would never happen.

            “You have to come out of your room eventually,” Nana said that morning, coming up with a hot bowl of oatmeal in her hands. I shook my head stubbornly, looking out the window onto the lifeless street.

            “Very well then,” she said with a sigh, leaving me alone. I took a bite of oatmeal, shoving it away after two more. I wasn’t very hungry. I hadn’t been in the past four days. Stress and regret was eating me alive.

            I wish things could have happened differently. Haven’t you ever found you did something and thought about, if one little thing had changed, it could’ve been prevented? Like, maybe if I hadn’t decided to visit Marion. Maybe if Brandon hadn’t found Phillip and I on our date. Maybe if I would’ve just refused Phillip’s date. Maybe if I hadn’t been born. Maybe if mom and dad hadn’t been killed. There were so many things that could have changed the outcome. So many, and I wasn’t able to do anything about it.

            There was a knock from downstairs. I strained to hear the voices. It was male. I suddenly shot across the room, fixing my hair and clothes best I could just in case it was Phillip. Slowly, I turned back toward the door. Who cared?

            “She right through there,” I heard Nana say. The person didn’t reply. After a few strenuous seconds, there came three raps on my door.

            “Come in,” I said quickly.

            Brandon himself slipped into my room, shutting the door behind him quickly. I was silent for several moments. He stared into my eyes until I couldn’t see the familiar brown anymore, it was so blurry.

            “Don’t cry, Ellie,” Brandon said apologetically, like it was his fault my best friend was in jail. I felt his arms slip around me, pulling me close.

            “I’m sorry,” I gasped through my tears, which were coursing down my cheeks at an alarming rate. “I didn’t know he’d report it, Brandon. I didn’t know.”

            He dragged me over to my desk chair without a reply, sitting in it. I didn’t hesitate to climb into his lap and curl up there, ashamed and afraid. I felt like a little child.

            “Ellie…it’s not your fault. I’m not mad at you. I came here so you’d know that. I haven’t seen you in a few days and I was worried. Phillip told me how freaked out you were so, I dunno, I just wanted to make sure you understood how I feel.”

            “Phillip said the words freaked out?” I asked with a tearful laugh.

            “Well,” Brandon said, deepening his voice in a mock impression of Phillip’s. “It was more like, ‘she was very scared and disturbed indeed.’ Something like that.”

             “What about Marion?” I asked after a pause.

            I felt Brandon swallow. “She’ll be in jail for a year, sooner if she can get her act together. I’m just disappointed that she would do this. It’s so unlike her. I knew dad leaving had left it’s impression of Marion, I just didn’t think it’d lead to this.”

            I shook my head into his chest. “I still don’t think she did it.”

            Brandon laughed, then sobered. “Ellie…look at me.”

            “No.”

            “Ellie…”

            “No!”

            “Ellie!” Brandon was aghast. “Please, for the love of all things good, look at me.”

            I stared up, shocked into stillness, when I realized how close his face was to mine. Brandon opened his mouth as if to say something, then clamped it shut. Slowly his face descended, pausing only a few short inches from mine.

            “Don’t,” I said at the last second, pushing him away. Instead I ended up sprawled on the floor, in a very awkward position. I scrambled to my feet and darted to my bed, curling up there. Brandon frowned.

            “I…I wasn’t going to do anything.” He heaved himself off of the chair. “Well, I hope you feel like you can show your face around town again. Marion’s not mad, Ellie. In fact, she misses you. She wishes she could see you. So...bye.”

            With that said, he walked from the room. I heard him conversing with Nana below. The front door slammed shut. After that, all seemed silent.

            I went over to my window, opening it quietly. I watched as Brandon walked from the house, my eyes trained on the back of his head. Right before he turned onto his street, he turned to give me a big, goofy grin. I smiled, waving. He waved back. And I knew all would be okay. Not perfect, just okay.

            Nana looked surprised when I came bounding down the stairs; hair perfectly brushed and with fresh clothes on. I gave her a firm hug, kissed her cheek, then hurried out the front door, armed with ten dollars and a grocery bag.

            I wove my way through the town’s only food market, selecting some of Nana’s favorite things. It was about time I cooked dinner for her, whether I was good at it or not. I knew, as I checked out, she’d appreciate the steaks, rolls, and broccoli. I would have to be careful not to burn them.

            “I’m back,” I called, coming through the front door. I set the grocery supplies down and went to tell Nana hello. She was sitting in the living room, writing something on a piece of paper. She looked up and gave me a smile.

            “Phillip stopped by about ten minutes ago. I invited him over for supper. You might want to freshen up a bit. He’s going to come a little early, around three, to take you on a walk.” She seemed pleased.

            “I was going to make you dinner,” I replied lamely, holding up the sack that suddenly seemed measly.

            Nana waved her hand dismissively. “Oh…it can wait. I so do appreciate the thought, sweetie. Now go put on something pretty.”

            I stomped up the stairs, feeling unappreciated. I pulled on the first dress I saw and put my hair back in a messy braid. My plans were now ruined. I wished Phillip would’ve stayed home. I was surprised to find I didn’t want to see him.

            At three precisely the doorbell rang. Nana gestured for me to answer it. I did so begrudgingly, giving Phillip a bored look. Though it was hard not to notice his perfectly combed hair, strong, angular features…I stopped myself there. He was an enemy now.

            “Good afternoon, Eleanor,” he said quite stiffly. “Let me say hello to your aunt and then we can be on our way.”

            I stood at the front door while they talked, finally slipping out onto the porch. I stared out into the clouds, started when an arm slipped around my waist.

            “Now, Eleanor, why are you being like this?”

            I sighed, pulling away. “You’re the one who put Marion in jail!”

            “You don’t seem to understand. You’re still so young. She did something terrible, inexcusable. Of course she must be punished. She understands, too.”

            Daringly, he pressed his cheek to mine. I resisted the urge to forcefully punch him. It would have pleased me immensely.

            “I think we should be on our way.” He stepped away, and the sudden lack of contact left me feeling empty. I reprimanded myself. I had to stay mad at him.

            He wound his arm through mine. I didn’t look at him. We walked in silence. Suddenly he turned toward the forest, pulling me with him before I could protest.

            “Ellie…”

            “That’s the first time you’ve called me that!” I exclaimed.

            “What?”

            “I go by Ellie, not Eleanor.”

            “Oh…” Phillip trailed off in silence. Then his eyes pierced mine. “I hate you being mad at me like this. I just want to be with you. Nothing more. You make me so happy, Ellie that I think I might just die without you.”

            It was hard to resist him when he talked in this manner: sweet and loving. I bit my tongue to keep from apologizing and glared evenly at him. “Well...I’m still mad!”

            Phillip tucked a loose strand of hair back into my braid, not meeting my eyes. “I’m truly sorry for what I did, Ellie. You must understand that.”

            He was so…ugh! I hated him!

            “W-well…”

            Phillip finally met my gaze. Slowly he bowed his head to me and his lips touched mine. He pulled away after a brief second.

            “Okay,” I said, exhaling in a huff, “I’m not mad anymore.”

            “Good.” Phillip linked hands with me and began walking back toward the house. “I’m very pleased.”

            Little did I know a person had been watching, disgusted, infuriated, and that this first kiss would only create more trouble for me. I didn’t know that the person would go straight to the prison and bail somebody out. I didn’t know they knew the truth, because I didn’t know the truth.

            The truth hurts.