Ice cream
Sunny days
and that envy worthy running couple
Nike pants and special shoes
I'm however not jealous
As you sit up against me
And I feel a bliss only expressed
By smiles and laughter
Rocking back and forth
All four of us looking to the future like space cadets
A rocket ship engineered with green porch furniture
Hoping for age and wheel chair races
Present insinuations and a request for innuendo
Uncivilized words of depreciation not even present in my mind
Motherly corrections
And a brother taunting
I wish he'd stop showing off
For I only care about you
Sitting beside me
Asking if the milky delicacy has smeared
Anywhere
I can't see it anywhere
But I don't mind looking
Whereas I rub my lips off trying to be perfect
Always trying to be...
Well...
No surprise I'm always trying to be...
Ive always wanted to be perfect.
It's a rough poem, not exactly smooth but I kinda like that personally... Let me know how it translates!
Comments
Favoritest comment!!! Haha,
Favoritest comment!!! Haha, thank you so much for reading and I love your comment, makes me feel good! Hahaha, it is quite literal, not much left to be imagination. I'm glad you like it! Now off to reply (really late) to your other lovely comment :D
"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!
This was awesome! So
This was awesome! So charming! I could picture the sunny day and the "milky delicacy" and everything....and very interesting line changes in places, like "Uncivilized words of depreciation not even present in my mind," which I thought worked really well, and then going back to the more regular rhythm. The ending was so unexpected, too, so real and easy to sympathize with. I felt like you really invited right into that moment in your life.
Awwww, thank you so much
Awwww, thank you so much Sarah Bethany!! This memory really isn't all that poetryfide lol, I feel like I'm just telling people how my Saturday afternoon went! But it's a tender memory so I'm glad it translates over well and that you liked it!!! I'm so happy! Thanks again!
"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!
I really like this, Kass! It
I really like this, Kass! It has such an honesty to it--and I love some of the metaphor in this. FAVORITE FAVORITEST FAVORITESTEST LINE:
All four us looking to the future like space cadets
A rocket ship engineered with green porch furniture
That second one! So lovely!
I think this translates pretty literally, but you can always message me and see how my interpretation stacks up! ;) hahah! Great job!