Some Sonnets

Submitted by Kassady on Sat, 03/03/2012 - 18:36

Hi Guys, I've written a few Sonnets lately using Shakespeares Sonnet Metre. I wonder if you can pick up the patern? There is one sonnet I mixed up the metre myself, so I hope you like them!

Tell me whatcha think!

Thanks.
Write on!

*****

Drinking in the starlight,

My soul soars high,

Far from the moonlit night.

Though I try,

My mind does not budge,

From the course of thinking,

I've sent it to trudge.

While you may see me smiling,

I'm falling into writer's block,

My heart screaming at me.

My minds muddled so I walk,

At night while my soul flies free.

Everything clicks into proper places,

Mind free, spirit lifted, my heart races.

****

All right I have a few end options for thise poem, tell me which one fits the best.

Cold, sad raindrops fall,

From the heavens dark,

As the Angels cry all.

Every Demon hark!

See what you have done?

You've destroyed beauty,

Killed life, scorched seas, shot the gun!

You've disgraced joy, abused purity,

Ruined Earth, demolished Sky.

Haunting us with images and sounds,

Deafening us with lie after lie,

Does your iniquity know no bounds?

End 1: Yes evil you've brought,

But soon you will be caught.

End 2: But light will vanquish dark,

So rejoice man and lark!

End 3: But after so much pain,

Life will grow healthy again.

End 4: Demons are you still listening?

Oh yes, Love slayed you, with one swing.

End 5: Devil, let me make this quite clear,

I, God, can slay you right here.

End 6: Devil, try your worst,

But soon God will burst.

***

I did a b b a, c d d c, e f f e g e. It's different and I didn't know if there were rules against those kind of things, but I thought I'd try it out!

Looking at the corner,

I notice its quite unclean,

Though its hardly ever seen,

I sit and look in wonder.

I'm sure we all feel,

Like a corner abandoned,

Though unknowingly we're examined,

By one who sees you with great appeal.

Someone who will notice your attire,

And comment on your hair,

Who treats you with care.

You know their not a liar,

Making you see the good in yourself,

Looking past the dust to desire.

***

Hope you liked them,
Write on!

 

Author's age when written
14
Genre

Comments

The second sonnet was my favorite!! :D

Great message, great rhyming.

To me, this ending flowed smoothest:

Devil, let me make this quite clear,

I, God, can slay you right here.

Plus, it had the most power. :)

Love ya SSS! Congratulations!! 

-Me :-)

 I love the beginning of the first sonnet. I like endings 4 and 5 best. :) 

 I like Ending 4 the best, although the flow maybe isn't quite as good.

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief