ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

You'll never guess
you'll never be able to say
You'll never ever ever guess
what I've done today.

I didn't ride an elephant,
or dive to ships sunk deep,
I didn't climb a mountain,
I didn't even sleep.

I didn't chase a butterfly,
or sail the seven seas,
I didn't swing from branches high,
or eat broccoli and cheese.

I didn't herd some buffalo,
or run across the world,
I didn't make a daisy chain,
or wave a flag unfurled.

I didn't see the ocean,
I didn't eat a peach,
I didn't drive a racecar,
I didn't see the beach

I didn't seek out golden fleece,
or chew pink bubble gum,
I didn't earn a dollar either--
but perhaps you'd like to loan me one?

I didn't break a pickle jar,
I didn't shear a llama,
I didn't read the old phone book,
or cause very much drama.

In fact, I rather think that I
had a very peaceful day,
and did a lot, in retrospect,
but not in the usual way.

See, maybe I did do all those things,
and that's what's really something,
'Cause all I really did today
was absolutely nothing.