Terra

Submitted by Clare Marie on Sat, 01/09/2010 - 22:28

**Ta DA!  First post of the new year! :D  Actually, I was hoping to post a chapter from one of my books, but as our computer is dead right now and waiting to be resurrected, I can't access my folder with all my writing in it; but hopefully that will be changed soon!  So I decided to just post a poem that I wrote, by hand, and still have on paper.  It's kind of one of those experimental-type poems, so any suggestions would be nice.  Enjoy!**

*~*~

 

rainbows dance above the river,

and

splash

               splash

                         splash

go the waves, while

cattails quiver

and breezes shiver

whistling among the pines 

 

grasses sway and bend their backs,

while

swish

              swish

                         swish

their stalks rumpling, with

rustling cracks

the wheat and flax

submitting to the wind

 

waterfalls gushing over stones,

and

plink

           plink

                     plink

the droplets crystal, o'er

earthes bones

midst crumbling thrones

immortal water running

 

trees above like gentle towers,

and

creak

           creak

                      creak

branches old crowned, with

spring-eager flowers

midst leafy bowers

green and gold all shimmering

 

sky above, the ageless soaring,

and

soft

          soft

                    soft

swan feather clouds, like

ships to the mooring

sun and rain pouring

benediction on the earth

 

Author's age when written
16
Genre

Comments

oh thanks. :)

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"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." -Bilbo Baggins [The Lord of the Rings]

Whoa! This was sooooo good! I loved the whole setup and the repeating of the words!! It gave it a soft feel. It gave me a lot of joy when I read it!!! Awesome job, Clare!!!

************

The Holy Spirit is the quiet guest of our soul." -St. Augustine

 ...this was really unique. It reminded me of a poet...but i can't remember who... :/ Anyway, it turned out very enjoyable. :)

_________________________

"Sweet is the love that never knew a wound, but deeper that which died and rose again." - Mother Mary Francis

Clare, that was beautiful! I love the way you wrote the descending parts. It makes it really feel as if those things were alive, flowing and whistling down on earth.

My favorite verses were the ones about the water and the trees.

Well done! I'd say you should lok for a place to publish this...

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And now our hearts will beat in time/You say I am yours and you are mine...
Michelle Tumes, "There Goes My Love"

 Beautiful!  My favorite part was:

"midst crumbling thrones

immortal water running."

*sigh of delight*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Brother: Your character should drive a motorcycle.
Me: He can't. He's in the wilderness.
Brother: Then make it a four-wheel-drive motorcycle!

Thanks so much, everyone. :)

Maethorwen: Hello fellow huge LOTR fan! :D  You can get your full Elvish name from this website (one of the best Tolkien fan websites there is): arwen-undomiel.com  

Just click the button that says "elvish" and you're all set! 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." -Bilbo Baggins [The Lord of the Rings]

Wow!! Perfect ending. I loved the part about the grass bending its back, I loved the "earth's bones"... And the rhyme/rhythm is unique and flowing. You totally nailed it. :)