Two knives who lay in a kitchenware drawer
Were, at one time, the very best friends
But as has been seen before
Friendship sometimes ends.

Neither were very sharp, you see
Nor either very bright
So dull as they were, they could only agree
On an honorable duel that night.

So while dog and canary were both asleep
They crept from the silverware
The fork set rules for them to keep
And suggested that they play fare.

They walked ten paces then turn to fight
And having no use for swords
They circled around in the candlelight
And beat each other with words

"You are nothing, you dull butter knife!"
Said the one, who was first to open.
"You weren’t sharpened once in you life."
"Ah, that’s only what you were hopin’."

They jumped at each other and fell away
As the steel and steel they clashed
With each flying leap a word they’d say
And dodged each time they slashed

The spoon and skillet with "Oo"s and "Ah"s
Were captured by sheer suspense
With each fall "Boo"s, each leap "Hurrah"s
Fork’s teeth chatter, things were so tense

Dog and Canary were now wide awake
But uttered no sound of protest
They only had questions and bets to make
And ask who was doing best

The crowd started talking and making noise
And were only recalled when one said,
"I say, what has happen boys?
Look, the knives have gone to bed!"