Looking Back

Submitted by Brighid on Wed, 01/13/2016 - 18:09

By my side is a beautiful man
Around my finger a tiny hand
Time is slipping away like sand
I realize it looking back

Crayon sketches on the bathroom door
Lego pieces on the floor
I never thought I could take much more
But now I am looking back

Heavy breathing, gentle sighs
Fluttering lashes and tired eyes
Soft whispers and lullabies
I feel it when looking back

Now they’re gone
Flown away
I close my eyes again today
And smile while looking back

Author's age when written
17
Genre
Notes

My grandmother was holding one of my baby cousins and just looking so peacefully happy. I asked her if she really missed having babies of her own and her answer inspired this. I'm not really good at poetry and this is sort of a first attempt but I enjoyed writing it and it means something to me. Thanks!

Comments

This is very beautiful!
Your first attempt makes mine look very bad. :P
I love the imagery you used. My only critique is that the last verse is a bit shorter than the others, which makes the rhythm a little bit off. Other than that it's perfect! I hope you write more poetry in the future.

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

I'm commenting again because I sent your poem to my sister and she said this:
"Love it. And I think the rhythm is PERFECT. ;). Because the last verse is a gentle ending :).
Thanks for sharing!"
Thought you might like to see that. :)

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

My sister is a mommy and she has just one little boy right now. We are always talking about how we should be content with what God has blessed us with right now instead of wishing for more.
I actually liked the poem enough to read it multiple times to myself and then read it out loud to Momma. :) She liked it and suggested that I send it to my sister. :)

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

That's so sweet! Tell your sister thank you for her lovely comment and for embracing the challenging and utterly under appreciated life of motherhood. It's a beautiful thing. God bless you and your family!

When I worship, I would rather my heart be without words than my words be without heart.