Spaghetti

Submitted by Gina I. on Wed, 11/16/2016 - 03:48

I’m constantly confused
Lost and hopeless
Stuck in this place
We’ve called Life
Nothing makes sense
Ever, at all, and
I know it never will
But I’ll just throw
Spaghetti at the wall
And fight on

Sadness creeps upon me
Yet it’s sudden too
And I have no idea
About how to
(Like, even, for real)
But I’ll just throw
Spaghetti at the wall
And continue to move

It's a constant battle
An all out war, like
Eating spaghetti
With a spoon
Not a fork
It'll never be easy
But don't get in a fix
We'll make it worse
And give you
CHOPSTICKS

Life gets tough
I know it, it's true
But there's one thing
I'll promise to you
It'll always get better
So why don't you
Keep your chin up
And better not fall

And if you don't like spaghetti
Just throw it at the wall

Author's age when written
17
Genre
Poetry
Notes

I know the rhythm's a little choppy, but the way I imagined it, it turns into a bit of a rap. So... yeah.

Comments

Damaris Ann

Wed, 11/16/2016 - 17:35

Permalink

So, not only is this super awesom, but it's also super relatable. Like, "I should have written this" relatable. For realsies.
A bit of a critique: I read through it, and it IS a little bit choppy, but when you rap it (like I did after reading your comment) the rhythm makes a ton-of-a-whole-lot-more sense. BUT, I think it would make even more sense if you had a little bit more rhyming in it. You'll laugh, but I rapped it like this (all-caps are the words with emphasis):
"I’m constantly conFUsed
LOST and hopeless
Stuck in this PLACE
We’ve called Life
Nothing MAKES sense
Ever, at ALL, and
I know it never will
But I will just THROW
Spaghetti at the wall
And fight on, yo"
Also, I feel like there should be one more line between the last two, or, maybe that last line needs more syllables. Idk.
I hope you don't mind my crazy comments. :) your poetry is so good. I just love it, and I love it when I can ACTUALLY put my thoughts into words when I read it!! :D

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

Gina I.

Wed, 11/16/2016 - 21:41

Permalink

Never feel like your comments are unwelcome! I appreciate any critique, but I'm not always able to figure out how to apply it to the piece of work.
I'm glad you liked it! I wrote it as a reminder to not just myself, but also a friend of mine who's recently been going through some pretty big changes, and is sorta freaking out about it, so ya....

insert something inspiring

Damaris Ann

Thu, 11/17/2016 - 01:09

Permalink

I totally get that.
Oh my, life is crazy! Hopefully your friend will make it through ok. Tel Lügen to breath. :) (I'm sure you have, but yeah) my life has been positively wacko this year, and it's been all I can do to keep myself from going slap-crazy. Crying helps, music helps. So all of that rambling to say, I have sympathy for you and your friend. :)

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.