Shattered

Submitted by Gina I. on Wed, 10/12/2016 - 04:51

Silent and depressed
Pushed into a corner
Lonely and a mess
But nobody bothers
To care or just look
To see all the pain
To speak to the breaking
And ease the aching
No one can see me
Lost and forgotten
No one can help me
They brush me away
Ignoring my cries
The silence grows stronger
The pain multiplies
Through sickness increasing
Til death do us part
How long can I live
With a shattered heart?

Author's age when written
17
Genre
Poetry

Comments

Damaris Ann

Wed, 10/12/2016 - 15:57

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Your poetry is so hauntingly beautiful. I always have to go back and read it over two or three times to let the depth of its meaning sink in properly. Perfection. I was going to highlight my favorite lines...but couldn't pick any; they're all so lovely! I don't know if you want title suggestions...but I thought maybe Shattered?

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

Damaris Ann

Thu, 10/13/2016 - 18:56

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Aww I'm so sorry to hear that. I understand, though, because I have struggled with depression. I still have my moments. :) poetry definitely helps. It makes all of those sad and hopeless thoughts turn into beautiful words, and in a way brings hope. Praying for you. :)

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

E

Thu, 10/13/2016 - 00:42

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Hi there! I don't think I've read much of your stuff yet.
I enjoyed this. My one suggestion to you would be to make it more visceral (if that makes sense). I think I get the mood you're trying to convey, and I think it has the potential to make even more of an impact if you use images rather than "feelings" words. This is great as is, I just thought I would give you an idea to play with. :)

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Lucy Anne

Thu, 10/13/2016 - 19:07

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Gina, I hope soon you can heal!
I don't agree with your profile picture. :) Because you think, makes you not a dangerous person. Thoughts like in this poem come from you, and are honest truth. Though it may seem like you've heard this before, but just remember you have a soul and God binds up the broken-hearted, as the psalm say. I don't know what you're going through, but looking at your work over the years you've been pretty honest and trying to work through it through your writing. When you expose yourself like that, you can help other people realize they are not the only ones.
I hope you will overcome your struggles with God's help!

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Gina I.

Thu, 10/13/2016 - 21:01

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You all are so sweet and kind. I appreciate all your thoughts and advice, and thank you for reading my work! That alone uplifts me so much.
And I might add that I've had the same profile pic for so long, I entirely forgot it was there. Thinking doesn't make you dangerous to the public, no, if that's what you were thinking, Lucy. But in a way, it makes you dangerous to those who desire complete control, those who want to be followed blindly.

insert something inspiring