i. On the Love Itself
You're ever so charming, my dear
From the way you smile to the way you tap
Your fingers on the nearest hard surface
When only I can tell you're plotting

It's funny, though
You have acquired, over three years, more
Enemies than I could ever dream of having
But I should know by know you're a living enigma

And yet, through the days
And the nights that we've spent,
So precious, though few, I have found myself
Slowly, surely falling for you

But are you falling for me too?
For me, it was a bit sudden, like I realised it as soon
As I heard your name for the fifty-first time
And it clicked - love.

Maybe it was the idea that we had gotten so close, from
The many dream-like conversations to the
Comfort of your hand on my shoulder
And the drying of tears in a funeral parade

ii. On the Shores of a Lake
It was to test our fate, you know
I still think I could have stopped it, if I tried.
But it's no consolation, anyway, because you tell me
An ending that doesn't make sense (I hate that man. Can't he paint us a better portrait?)

Because as an 'unscripted girl' I have to swim in the fluids called
'Idea', unborn, inside the shared brain of many writers across
Time, past, (ugh) present, and future
But you cannot deny you know me

iii. On Your Past
You were beautiful, even then. (I can't say more, I try not to think
Because of the pain)

iv. In Which I See This is a Eulogy
You will die soon. Six months.
They even have a date, all lined up and pretty
I heard the news and prayed that
April Fool's had come exactly two months late

I hate the doctors almost as much as that wretched puppet man.

v. The Flashbacks Hurt
Why am I not like your other girls?
Sharp as a whip, tough, or even pretty?
I suppose I am fated to stay swimming
Not that anyone would ever think me worthy

If I close my eyes I can see the devils
Dancing around me, screaming insults
Or even the ones who let me live
Shouting that I'm not trying hard enough

My wounds tear open and
I fall forwards into emptiness

vi. Ballad of Green Marbles
Your eyes, though they would be striking in all
Their past colours, shine a little bit
Brighter when they're green. They appear
Smarter then, but I think they'd be lovely regardless

They were full of life
Maybe the new boy will have eyes like yours
But somehow I think that cruel rather than
A comfort

Those eyes haunt me in my sleep
Though they look more like marbles under your
Pale, lifeless lids

vii. Drowning
Water drowns
I think that on the planet of rubies that's why
They gave the musical child
That name. Because water drowns.

She's drowning me right now. That awful
Puppet man is watching me.

viii. Phobias Take Form
I feel the strings, like
Spider silk
Tight around my wrists and
The air beneath my feet is the only thing there

He knows I hate this feeling.

ix. The Kiss of Death
It came for you in the night
I didn't realise I was holding a corpse until the alarm went off
It was kind enough to leave a note on the dresser
A calling card, I knew I was next

I wore a black shawl to your funeral
I lost my hat in the snow.