I have a science teacher; his name’s Monty.
He’s a nasty little thing, I’m sure you’ll agree.
If you’re wanting somethin’ really bad,
Just go to him – believe me, he won’t leave you sad!
Oh lets take some notes,
Kill some bugs, fry some oats,
Oooh let’s dissect some coyotes,
Here at my science class.

My teacher, he’s evil I do say.
He makes us take mostly notes all the day!
When we stop, it’s worse than before,
He makes us cut frogs ‘cuz he loves blood and gore!
Oh lets take some notes,
Kill some bugs, fry some oats,
Oooh let’s dissect some coyotes,
Here at my science class

Even thinking of Wednesday we start to shudder,
Please, to stay at home we beg each mother,
Of course, they never, ever let us,
“It’s educational,” they say as we enter the bus.
Oh lets take some notes,
Kill some bugs, fry some oats,
Oooh let’s dissect some coyotes,
Here at my science class

Hey, guess what? My story gets even worse!
We get so much homework - I’m gonna burst!
After class he grins an evil grin,
And says, “I hope I get to see you all again!”
Oh lets take some notes,
Kill some bugs, fry some oats,
Oooh let’s dissect some coyotes,
Here at my science class

Elizabeth writes:
This one is a ballad. What makes it funny is that my science teacher's name really is Monty. I am not really making fun of my teacher; he likes this kind of thing.