Descending

Submitted by Elizabeth on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 16:12

 

Lovely kisses from high circling   Sweet hugs of twirling arms swirling   Laughing with crinkling joy falling   Blanketing smoothness light paving   Silent descending bitterly lying     Downward in patterns swiftly flying     Upturned face receives gladly Tears of clouds dropping musically   Fair hair swept about girl gaily Hands of movement flowing briskly   Child gathers and tosses happily Clouds of colour arraying fairly   Bare his feet wander aimlessly Path of golden rays receiving openly   Eyes of joy gazing wonderingly White ornaments fill glancing beautifully     Downward in patterns swiftly flying          
Author's age when written
15
Genre

Comments

 Lovely!  I had to read it through three times just to soak it in...

I loved the rhythm of it, and your use of adverbs added a very unique touch.  My favorite line was "Downward in patterns swiftly flying"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Brother: Your character should drive a motorcycle.
Me: He can't. He's in the wilderness.
Brother: Then make it a four-wheel-drive motorcycle!

I love this, Elizabeth!!  It's wonderful!!

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"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." -Bilbo Baggins [The Lord of the Rings]