indecision

Submitted by E on Fri, 10/14/2016 - 23:46

it was so much easier
to fall in love
when I was younger
I could see a set of
blue eyes and a
nice jawline in the street and
imagine our future together

how it would start with
his hands on my waist
rocking from
side to side, and then
he would push my hair back and
we would go on adventures and
all we would need is each other

but how things change—
I’ve had a sweet boy turn up.
he thinks everything I say is funny
and he treats me kindly
and he looks at me
like I’m the stars
but
I can’t bring myself
to be that for him

he sits next to me on
the sofa, his thigh just
inches from mine
his voice full of
liquid courage
I feel his eyes begging me to
turn to him
but I don’t.

Author's age when written
20
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Notes

It's been a while since I posted:)

Comments

Yup. I get that ---- entirely.

I like how you don't make excuses for the feelings in this or try to justify it -- you just say "but I don't"....and somehow made me feel sympathy for both the boy and for you (but more for you). I like that kind of writing. A little slice of unapologetic reality :)

Edit: Also, your new photo is beautiful!