It's a cold, unforgiving world.
Don't doubt it, it's true,
'Cuz as soon as you take off the covers,
Your fingers will turn numb, your toes, blue.
It's a cold unforgiving world.
You can't even go to the loo,
Whenever you stand up you feel it,
The cold is getting to you.
It's a cold unforgiving world.
Out of the covers, the temperature feels negative two,
You can't take it, but you can fake it,
I know you feel it too.
It's a cold, unforgiving world.
Comments
:)
It seems as if your poems have a tendency to display a great and true message. That's really great.
I really feel this sometimes, and you put it to words well. I especially like first and last stanzas because it's true! :) Good job!
"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nice!
Nice poem Danny! So true!
"Even if the sun crashes into earth, I won't let go, I won't let go. I can be your light, stay with me tonight, I won't let go, I won't let go."
Absolutely wonderful, and
Absolutely wonderful, and quite true!
Nice message woven into the
Nice message woven into the poem. The rhythm and rhyming are perfect. :)
one thing: When one verse says: "You can't even go to the loo," I think you should cut out the "to" bit. It's not good grammar, but I think it just will help the rhythm. :D Job well done.
Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh