The Council of Alshanfaara, the twelfth day of the month of Ratha, CR 3149

To the Ruler and government of Pipsqueak Land:

Your letter of intercession has been examined by the Council of Ildacaar and it is appointed to me, Erandil, King of Alshanfaara, along with the Council of Alshanfaara, to give answer.

We will begin by addressing such arguments as you set forth in your first paragraph. Here, you claimed that dragons are of a friendly temperament, and are by nature quite helpful. You also claim that they are ignorant, which seems to have little, if any, effect on your argument, unless you claim that it is only out of ignorance that they do evil. We will assume that this was the meaning that was intended. However, as you have not explained what was meant in describing them as ignorant, we cannot be certain of how to respond and therefore desire clarification.

However, your arguments do not really have any relevance whatsoever. For it seems to us that the creatures which you make mention of cannot be of that vile race of Dragons, for you claim that they are cuddly and fluffy. On the contrary, Dragons are creatures almost reptilian in appearance, covered in scales. Thus, these creatures must not be Dragons but, to their misfortune, bear the same name as the wicked race.

As to our arguments causing disruption in the procedure of the government of Pipsqueak Land, we apologize. Let us state with absolute clarity, the Dragons against whom we wrote our Declaration of War are creatures of wickedness and are covered in scales. They are not the creatures of which you speak that dwell in Pipsqueak Land. We shall be willing to pay for any waste that has occurred because of these disturbances. As for these jumbo marshmallow bunnies you speak of, we have never heard of such creatures.

We also apologize for the confusion that has resulted from our long letters. They deal with matters that are difficult to understand when lacking a basic knowledge of the history of the Dragons. However, as these letters were addressed to the Dragons, we are confident that the intended recipients of the letters have understood quite well the message that we intended to convey. If, however, there are any points that you would desire clarified, we shall attempt to the utmost of our humble abilities to do such.

In answer to your desire that our arguments cease, we need only point to the lack of a response from Malachi Damusaun, who names himself lord of the Dragons. Since silence equals concession, we have accepted this silence on the part of the Dragons as concession and have, as of the sixth day of the month of Ratha, begun war on the Dragons. On that day, Esalandur of the Sariä led forth a mighty host out of Hardacil. He has driven the dragons northward toward the mighty city of Ulcan-tír where we, the Council of Alshanfaara await them.

As can be clearly seen, the arguments have been dropped. War is begun.
We pray that this cessation of argument will result in peace and harmony in Pipsqueak Land.

This is the response of the Council of Ildacaar to Queen Pipsqueak Gill-Pippin, along with Governors Pip-doodle-da and Squeak-ee-doodle, set forth with the full agreement of the Valar and the Council of Drahawn.

Let all whom it may concern take note.