once apon a time, a phrase, a trap.
to snare a reader, even mayhap
to draw you in to hear a tale
of long ago, behind the veil of time
a story, a legend, to tell to hear.
listen now and turn thy ear
to a story of knights and princesses fair
we fly through time, we fall through air.
Comments
I like this!
I really like this! It makes me think of all the old stories I love. Only thing I'd say is the rhyming feels inconsistent. Couldn't you say '' behind time's veil'' instead of ''behind the veil of time'' ?
Don't misunderstand, because I really like this poem. :)
Behind the veil of time
Behind the veil of time sounded perfect to me. Don't change it.
Welcome and good job on the poem :)
Cool poem! And I welcome thee
Cool poem! And I welcome thee to the website!
thanks
thank you guys. and i was going to put "behind time's veil" but decided that a sort of "trippy" rhyme sounded better.
Music I created
[updated]
Welcome big brother
Welcome big brother to ApricotPie, the place I always disappear to when I have nowhere else to go. Enjoy. (And post 'Epic Fantasy' soon).
Oh for the times when I felt invincible.
I like it! :)
It's sort of has the quality of a dream someone's having. It flows nicely. Keep it up! And welcome to Apricot Pie! :)